Regarding Animals

I didn’t grow up with pets and I never wanted a pet. I didn’t understand why people would go out of their way to care for a creature that would never have the potential to tell a good joke.

Old Becky, as best articulated by Tina Fey in this passage of Bossypants:
“I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.”  

New Becky:
One time I accidentally prayed that the puppies wouldn’t get scared during a thunderstorm. I almost Instagrammed photos of myself and [dog] Robert cuddling. I sincerely “awww” when I see [some] pups. I don’t go out of my way to pet them, and I have almost have no idea how to play with them (thank you Charlie dog at work for being such a gracious teacher.) But I much enjoy looking at them. I’m not ready to invest, but I dare not speak for my future self. Regardless, if a French Bulldog or teacup piglet shows up at my doorstep, I can confidently say that I would give that animal a badass name and spoil it…with water. Just kidding — I would spoil it like Paris Hilton spoiled her dog. Just kidding — it would be somewhere in the middle. In short, I would actually love it.

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6 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted 07/25/2012 at 8:42 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Flint! That looks just like Gatsby will look when he’s a grown up dog! I’m so happy about your slow transformation into an animal person.

    • Posted 07/25/2012 at 8:44 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Sclark, I wanted to write about Gatsby but I didn’t have a way to tie it in. Do you see your direct influence here??!!

  2. Sarah Miller
    Posted 07/25/2012 at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Becky! I´m that girl that your Texas friends may have mentioned a couple of times, Sarah Miller. Anyway, I TOTALLY relate on the animal level, just thought I´d let you know. Also, I thought I´d tell you your blog is awesome and your handiwork with wood is just phenomenal. Have a happy day :)

    • Posted 07/25/2012 at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Reply

      SARAH MILLER COMMENTED ON MY BLOG!!!!!!!!! I feel like a celebrity just paid me a huge compliment.

      I’m glad you get my drift with the animales. It’s also good to know that my soul isn’t black just because it’s too much work to bend down to met a stranger’s dog.

      Thank you for your kind words. So glad you stopped by!

  3. Annie W
    Posted 07/25/2012 at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I was very much in that “don’t really care” boat for a long time, so I completely understand.

    That said, the amount I frickin’ love my cat has totally blown my mind. Like I did a complete 180 on the way I feel about all animals/pets.

    Basically I’m saying that you don’t really know until you have a pet..but I also understand the feeling and/or not wanting one! Haha.

  4. Posted 08/07/2012 at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Reply

    At least currently you have the consolation that you’re not bound for crazy cat lady territory any time soon. That is definitely a win!

    While I do sometimes enthusiastically reach down to pet a stranger’s dog, I often find I’m soon trying to figure out where I can go to wash my hands because they now smell like dog. Or I’ve petted a friendly, but dirty dog, because it has been out for a romp. So then it is dirty, dog smelling hands I’m trying to rid myself of. Definitely a downside to loving the furry things. A downside no one seems to talk about.

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